Changeling

I’m not sure when the swap occurred, only that it did. We should have remembered to leave an open pair of scissors near the dough box where she slept those first nights. I guess we just got sloppy, or maybe we figured the almost constant vigilance would keep us safe from the fey folk.

She’s missing the tell-tale greenish cast to her skin, but her poop is almost exclusively emerald – perhaps an adaptation of the fair ones to modern times? Otherwise, the signs are all there. Voracious appetite? Check. Malicious temper? Check. Difficulty in movement? Check. Inexplicable virtuosity on the pan pipes? Check. And those are just the wikipedia criteria.

“Hatred of sleep” didn’t make the list, but that’s what put me on the right track. Demony people don’t need sleep. Charlotte doesn’t need sleep. Therefore, Charlotte is a demony baby. She may not be failing to thrive, but her parents certainly are. I have not slept three hours in a row for five and a half weeks. She has only ONCE since the first few weeks of life napped for more than forty-five minutes by herself. Usually it’s about thirty minutes (if her father puts her down), sometimes no more than five (if I put her down).

We’ll prove it now. The water is coming to a boil. Carefully now, fill the eggshells and steep the malt.

Hark! A croaking voice comes from the Baby Einstein Underwater Adventure Play Gym. “Lo, I have lived many hundreds of years, and never have I seen beer stewed in an egg!”

Got you, beastie. Begone!

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~ by themeansister on May 1, 2011.

2 Responses to “Changeling”

  1. Oh, Zoe, I’m your mother and I just discovered that you’re posting again. Good on you! I know it’s hard. But almost worth some of the wonderful comments. I especially like the one about being up all night with an UGLY baby. Just keep on keeping on(and don’t rent a place with stairs). Susan T. almost fell down theirs while carrying Amber around one sleep-deprived night.

  2. Update, yo.

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