Audacity to mope

Unemployment is not really as fun as it should be. It was great in Leiden, where a) I couldn’t legally get a job and b) the town was awesome, but Bloomington unemployment is stinking it up. Sure, I enjoy standing on street corners with cardboard signs reading “Family in need,” “God bless you,” and even the occasional “Yes, the money is for beer,” but the crippling depression about not having made any honest cash since last September is beginning to take its toll. Even my anticipated last-resort, you’ll-have-to-drag-my-flayed-carcass-there positions are no longer available, and I’m starting to seriously consider the jobs that pay less than I’ve made since I was 17. Basically, I’m living proof that, unless you go on to graduate or law school, a liberal arts degree is an effing waste of time and money. Concerned Sister, for the love of all that is good and holy, BEAR THIS IN MIND. You may be able to recite Plato, but it won’t make a bit of difference when the gray walls of your cubicle start closing in.

The nursing? Well, the nursing is not for me. I don’t regret going through the program, and I have tremendous regard for (most) nurses, but I just don’t think my temperament could handle it. Watching surgeries, cleaning gory wounds, and giving injections were exhilarating experiences, but it’s not all blood and guts, my friends. I could get into the blind panic attacks, but wouldn’t you rather I didn’t? (Incidentally, my new meds “may cause psychotic episodes.” They probably won’t, but they might. What do you suppose THOSE would be like? Would I even be able to tell the difference? Would you?)

This is the part where I should end on an upward, hopeful twist, like, “I’m sure it’ll all work out somehow.” Fact is, it doesn’t always work out. Sometimes things just suck, and then they continue to suck. There aren’t any guarantees that I’ll get a job I can stand that pays enough to sooth my pride and allow me to buy brand-name soap. So I may be serving coffee or scrubbing carpets or telemarketing in the near future, but I’m thankful I live in this country, in this time period, where that’s the worst that’ll happen.

Dang, that WAS a hopeful twist. I must be losing my touch.

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~ by themeansister on January 21, 2009.

One Response to “Audacity to mope”

  1. Get a fine arts degree! That’s where the money REALLY is!

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